


a forest and a metaphorical jet plane

by rosasdeesperanca



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, But mostly fluff, Charles understands Erik better than he does, Erik Has Feelings, Erik Lehnsherr is not a Happy Bunny, Jealous Erik, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 11:06:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19392856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosasdeesperanca/pseuds/rosasdeesperanca
Summary: Erik and Charles go to a forest party, while Charles has fun and easily talks to a girl, Erik is not so pleased and gets jealous





	a forest and a metaphorical jet plane

**Author's Note:**

> written for my favourite person

They were at a some kind of party outside. Erik had to say it was pretty original and the place was really nice. He was also pretty sure that he would love the location a hundred times more if it wasn’t wasn’t crowded with people and if this loud and annoying music wasn’t playing. And mostly, if he were alone with Charles instead of watching another girl talk to him. Perhaps, he should have made an effort and tried to talk with them instead of rolling his eyes and looking away. Should have been polite and talked to her friend who definitely tried to flirt with him but frankly he really couldn’t have cared less about her or anyone there. He was boiling from the inside. 

And he had trouble dealing with anger, right now he wanted to scream out of frustration. So he ended up leaving, after all it was a forest, with lot of space without anyone to bother him and no girl who could annoy him by talking to his best friend/secret crush. Erik really hated this word, what he felt for Charles was way more than a crush but he couldn’t really call him anything else. If Erik could punch himself, he would right now. He felt so stupid and idiotic and-

“What are you doing?” Charles asked, hands on his hips. 

“Can’t I just take a breath?” He said, actually out of breath. 

“You can but perhaps telling me you were leaving instead of just, you know leaving without saying a word, would’ve been great.” Charles explained with every bit of patience he had left. 

“For what it was worth...you weren’t even seeing me.” Erik already cursed himself for the way he couldn’t handle his feelings tonight. 

Charles scoffed, something he almost never did “Sorry, Erik. For not spending every single second of my life watching over you. I noticed as soon as you were gone ‘for what it’s worth’.”

Erik was properly angry now, he knew it was mostly directed at himself and everything than Charles but he had to let it out “Oh yeah? I’m so touched. Really. That you do remember I exist because you left me on my own there. I didn’t want to talk to that girl! I don’t want to talk to any girl or boy, or anyone. I don’t like those parties and I don’t like watching girls catch your attention. It’s so superficial. No one ever says the truth! Everyone tries to pretend they’re something that they are not! I’m so tired of all that. And I’m so tired to pretend to. I’m so fucking tired.”

Charles wasn’t angry if anything he looked at Erik with compassion “I know you don’t like parties but this one is different. There’s space to move and it’s in a forest. You love forests, I thought we could you know get out of our little world and see other people? I didn’t mean to leave you, I was there, with you. Like I always am. I know you don’t like the noise and the crowd, but that’s not the real problem is it?”

Erik only had the strength to shake his head. Charles smiled the same compassionate smile at him. He took a big breath of that cool night air. And it still didn’t help him. He wasn’t ready. Perhaps, it was time to leave into the woods and live with the wolves or something. He could do that. Erik was good with animals and he loved nature, yeah good idea. He didn’t even notice Charles’ hand was now on his shoulder “Erik, are you okay?”

“Yes, yes. I’m perfect. I think I’m going to take a walk.” He said absentmindedly. 

“In a forest? In the middle of night?” He asked, confused. 

Erik nodded “That would do me some good.”

“Or get you killed by a wild animal who might get offended or lost in the middle of the woods?”

True, he didn’t know this forest that much mostly not at night but he really needed to be alone. Charles wasn’t really good with prolonged silence since he was the one speaking again “Erik, talk to me. Let’s walk together okay?”

Erik wanted to say no, he wanted to say he needed to leave but Charles’ voice was like a magnet. So he nodded. Charles lead him to a path with more lights and he tried to lighten the mood by teasing Erik “I know what your problem is.”

“Is that right?” Erik asked with no energy. 

“Hm hm. Figured you out entirely...you are jealous!” 

His tone was not serious, he was clearly joking but Erik looked like a deer caught in headlights. And it was like Charles was struck by lightning in this moment, his eyes getting bigger. He started to grin “Oh my...I’m right! Seriously Erik...I didn’t know you would get jealous over a girl talking to me at a party.“

“I’m not jealous!” Erik was already fuming, he really didn’t want his biggest weakness to be exposed like that. 

“Oh yes, you are.” Charles argued “It’s okay, really. You just can’t resist my charming personality and charisma. Happens to everyone.” He tried to look confident but really his laugh was nothing short of self deprecating.

Erik was trembling with how much the idea of Charles realising he had feelings for him scared him. Charles noticed and got closer, trying to be gentler “Erik, really it’s okay. We’re very close, there’s no shame in being a little jealous.” 

That sent Erik off “For the last time I AM NOT JEALOUS!”

Charles looked bewildered “Alright, no need to scream.” He looked around in disbelief “Perhaps, we should just go home? I don’t think we’re going to have much fun anyway.”

Wonderful, he always ruined everything. Charles was enjoying himself and now his weakness ruined the party for him. Erik really hated himself right now. He felt trapped in his own head. Charles was touching his shoulder again “Hey, it’s alright Erik. Truly. We should just head back, get some rest. I can feel your thoughts racing, I’m not mad at you. I shouldn’t have pressed on that, it seems to be an issue. But it’s okay, we’re okay.” 

Erik once again found himself only able to nod. He followed Charles back to his way too expensive car that he got from his father. For a while, they just sat there. For once, Charles didn’t try to fill the silence with conversations or witty remarks. He just sat there with Erik. It would’ve felt good if Erik hadn’t been so anxious. Charles sighed softly. While Erik looked at his feet like they suddenly were absolutely fascinating. 

“I know you don’t want to talk about what happened. But we really should, we cannot stay like this. Or at least I can’t stay like this.” Charles said as he rubbed his forehead. 

Erik knew he was right, they needed to talk. They really needed to talk. But he also definitely wasn’t ready. So he only said “I’m sorry.”

Charles laughed out of pure nervousness “I know you are, Erik. I only want you to be honest about how you feel. You seemed quite upset out there.”

Yes, upset. That was the word. “I’m not ready, Charles. Please, don’t make me say it.” 

Charles’ confusion was only obvious on his face “What is the thing you can’t tell me about?”

Erik couldn’t even bring himself to speak or even look in Charles’ direction. He still looked down, feeling his heart clench and his insides burning. It was torture. 

“Erik, please.” He reached out to hold his hand “You can tell me anything, I won’t judge you, I’m always going to try to help you, please let me help.”

“Okay.” Erik took a breath and all his courage “You’re right, I’m jealous. I’m jealous because...because I’m weak, Charles. I try to look strong but I’m not, when it really matters I’m not. I don’t even know how to...how to say it. And it’s just so easy for them to go after you, it’s so easy for you to talk to them and it’s so hard for me! To just...just say it! I need to...” he couldn’t even finish his sentence. 

“You need to?” His voice was calm, patient, caring. Everything Erik loved about him. 

That was the word he needed to say, love. But he couldn’t bring himself to it. So he did the stupidest think he could think of, ironically the only thing he could do. He reached out for Charles and kissed him with more force he thought he had in his body at the moment. His heart was leaping out of his throat, he was kissing his best friend. Perhaps, his only friend. Five years of pining and longing were coming out all at once. It was pure insanity and the most surprising part of all was that Charles was starting to kiss back. Almost sobbing into the kiss like he had been waiting too. That was impossible but for a moment, Erik wished Charles felt the same way. He wished they could be together and do that many many times. After all, this was something he has to truly appreciate and like everything good in his life, Erik tried to hold onto it for as long as he could. After minutes or a little eternity. The kiss stopped. They still needed air to breathe. Unfortunately, he thought bitterly. Erik gulped and was thinking of getting out of the car and truly start his life as a hermit now before Charles stopped him. 

“So you kiss a boy and want to leave without a word, way to go Erik Magnus Lehnsherr.” 

Erik laughed in spite of himself “I really wish my mother never told you about my middle name.”

“But she did.” Charles’ voice was fond. 

“Yes...” Erik finally dared and looked at Charles and he only found an overwhelming tenderness there. 

“So that’s what you wanted to tell me?” He asked softly. 

Erik only nodded. 

Charles took his hand “Well, then. I think we might agree on that matter.”

Erik stared at him and the hand Charles joined with his. Charles laughed and rolled his eyes “Ever so oblivious.”

Erik would have looked offended, if he had understood anything that was happening right in front of his eyes. He only watched as Charles brought the hand he was holding to his lips and kissed it with aching tenderness. He whispered with a voice that was wrecked “Charles...”

“Yes?” Charles looked deep into his eyes and how was Erik supposed to form any kind of sentence when he was already drowning in Charles’ blue eyes. 

“I-I think I love you.” He finally dared to say. 

“You think you do?” Charles’ voice was aiming for teasing but it sounded a little insecure, like deep down he was as helpless as Erik. 

“No, I’m sure. I was just scared to say it.” Erik admitted. 

Charles looked thoughtful “That’s such a convenient coincidence because I happen to be very much in love with you.”

For a moment, Erik couldn’t even speak or move or even blink. That made Charles laugh quietly. As he took the wheel and said he would take Erik home. He put on the radio, the song was nice. Something Erik definitely had heard many times. The title had to be big jet plane. There was a line about wanting to hold and protect the person you loved from harm. Erik felt it in his bones, a love that made him want to hold and protect fiercely. 

Charles sighed “I really love this song.”

Erik smiled at him when he said “I love it too.”


End file.
